Of Artists and Dreamers
by maxcoffie
Summary: No one believed Calvin would make it into college, except Hobbes (and even he had his doubts). So now, Calvin has plenty to prove; both in his academics and the one thing he's ever really loved: film. Calvin revives a dying film club, with the help of friends old and new. Now a new journey begins, paved with lessons on friendship, love, and new revelations on who he really is.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey, hey. Max Coffie here. Being a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes, I always wondered how Calvin would fare in an environment like college. I'm not the first person on this site to wonder about that, or to write fan fiction based on that idea. But my story will be different based on the format I'm going to use. I'm writing short little scenes, that are meant to capture meaningful moments in Calvin's college life. They can still be strung along to tell a simple, straightforward story so I promise it won't be confusing. I also promise to put as much heart, humour and mind bending Calvin-esque day dreams as I can. Most importantly, I hope you enjoy this._

* * *

**Goodbye**

She was crying. He had not expected her to cry.

"Hey mom, come on," Calvin said, and he shushed gently in her ear. She did not let go of him.

"Honey, we need to move or traffic will be a nightmare," his father said.

They were standing in front of the expanisve campus, beneath the great brick arch with the words: John Thomas University. Around them, new students said goodbyes to family by recently offloaded vehicles. Many of the goodbyes were teary. Several of the farewells were embellished with heartfelt promises to call. Almost all of these promises would be abandoned within the first week—by the children anyway.

"Dad?" Calvin said, giving his father a look.

"That's enough, dear." Dad loosened Mom's iron-hold around Calvin, and pulled her from him.

"Remember to take your chewy vitamins," Mom said, sniffing. "And lock your doors at night. And don't spend all your time playing video games. And clean up after yourself or you'll get ants. And eat something balanced everyday—don't just order pizza. And change your underwear frequently…"

"Dad," Calvin sighed.

"Give her a break, kid," his father said. "Last time she gets to pester you for at least four years."

"Oh, my boy," Mom said, with a deep sigh.

She stared at her tall, lean son, with his perpetually untidy blond hair and charming boyish looks. He had grown up quite handsome, even if a little thin. Well, she always thought he was too thin. Maybe the girls wouldn't.

"It's just," Mom finally said, "we really never thought you'd make it into college."

"Gee, thanks Mom," Calvin said.

"Only the more reason we're so proud of you," Dad said. "You worked really hard. You set out to prove us and every teacher you've ever had wrong, and you succeeded."

"I was on the waitlist for weeks," Calvin said. "I'm really only here by luck."

"Don't you ever tell yourself that," his mother snapped. She stroked his face. "You deserve to be here as much as everyone else."

Calvin smiled. He looked like he wanted to disagree. Instead, he said, "Thanks Mom. That means a lot."

"I only wish…" she said, and her words trailed off, as her eyes fell on the charm around his neck: a tuft of orange and white, with black stripes.

"Don't start, Mom," Calvin sighed.

His mother rolled her eyes. "Sorry. It's been three years. I thought you wouldn't need that thing anymore. A security blanket is all it is." She smiled through her tears. "But I guess there are some things we never quite outgrow."

Calvin fingered the tuft around his neck, and silence descended upon them for a few moments.

"Well, you're all set. We'll be on our way now," Dad said.

"Call when you're settled in," Mom said.

"We'll see," Calvin said, and when his mother threw him a glare, quickly added, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I will. Goodbye."

His parents sat in their tired, old sedan and drove off. Calvin stared after them until the car rounded a corner, and drove out of sight. He turned around to face the campus.

"Well, buddy," he said. "What should we do first?"

The large, anthropomorphic tiger next to him said with a wide grin, "Check out the girls dorms!"

"Unpack it is," Calvin said.

Hobbes frowned. "You're no fun."

Together, they started towards their dormitory.

* * *

**Hello**

_"Houston, we have a problem."_

_"Really? Why? What's the problem?"_

_Hobbes shrugged. "Aren't we supposed to say that here?"_

_"Not when there isn't an actual problem, Hobbes," Calvin said. "Now help me move this."_

_The two floated through the infinite blackness in their space suits, propelled by thrusters on their backs. In their background, the earth hung pristine and blue and impossibly beautiful. The sun peeked over its massive curvature, casting a blinding glare._

_Calvin floated up to a giant chair, five times his size. "Where should this go?"_

_"Next to the table, I reckon," Hobbes said, drifting past him to the opposite side of the chair._

_"Yes, but which of the tables?" Calvin said._

_Above them, two enormous tables—one with a reading lamp, the other with dining mats—hovered in the darkness, their edges gilded with sunlight._

_"Reading table," Calvin said. "Who still eats at tables anyway?"_

_"I don't think that's something that goes out of fashion," Hobbes said._

_Their thrusters hissed, as together, they hoisted the chair up. It glided up to join the reading table._

_"Well, what's next?" Calvin said. _

_"Something ornamental, I hope," Hobbes said. "Just because this is a dorm room doesn't mean it has to look like a serial killer's lair."_

_"Uh oh," Calvin said. "Houston we have a problem."_

_"I'm not trying to start an argument. I just think—"_

_"No," Calvin said, pointing. "We really have a problem."_

_From around the globe, tiny fragments were hurtling in a steady orbit, heading right towards them._

_"Those are moving much faster than they should in space," Hobbes said._

_"Let's get out of here!" Calvin said._

_They started to thrust in the opposite direction._

_"I can't help but feel like this is a futile attempt," Hobbes said, as the fragments reached them. Glinting pieces of metal, and cable, and plastic flew past them._

_"Maybe we should thrust towards the earth, and out of their path," Calvin said._

_"Or maybe we should thrust _away_ from the earth, and out of their path," Hobbes said. "We wouldn't want to get caught in free fall by accident now, would we?"_

_"Oh Hobbes," Calvin said, grinning in his helmet. "What's the fun in that?"_

_So they thrust closer to the earth. Minutes later, they were plummeting down, engulfed in flames._

_"You are the worst space commander ever," Hobbes said._

_"Better me than you," Calvin said, sticking out his tongue._

_They started to squabble._

The door to the dorm swung open. Calvin whirled around from his place kneeling in the swivel chair.

"What's going on here?" the sandy haired boy in the door said.

Calvin's clothes were strewn all over the dorm, the mattresses were propped up against the walls, the bed planks were on the floor, and the ceiling fan was on too high, throwing scraps of packing paper in a swirl around the room.

"Hello." Calvin smiled sheepishly, and pointed at the only upright thing in the room. "I brought a chair."

* * *

**How you doin'?**

Calvin followed his dorm mate, Jeremy, through the crowded lawn and into the fraternity house. The music was even louder in here. Dubstep pounded against the walls. Whoever had been put in charge of the strobe lights had gotten too enthusiastic, and Calvin was certain he would suffer his first epileptic attack before the night was through. Maybe some of the other kids were already suffering seizures, judging by their violent writhes to the music, and the way their red cups spilled cheap beer with every movement.

"It's everything I imagined," Calvin yelled over the music, and then muttered, "And that might not be a good thing."

"—Ingle!" Jeremy yelled back.

"What?" Calvin said.

"Min—!" Jeremy yelled again.

"Huh? Shingle?"

Jeremy made a circular motion with his finger.

"Oh, _mingle_," Calvin said. "I'm not really good at—"

But Jeremy was already disappearing into the crowd, thrashing to the music.

Calvin just sort of stood there as people moved and danced around him, a rock in a rushing stream.

"Well," Hobbes said next to him. "What now?"

"I think this is where we look for a drink," Calvin said.

"We're under aged," Hobbes said.

"Everyone here probably is," Calvin said. "When in Rome…"

"Oh, sure. Because that doesn't sound like every peer pressure justification ever," Hobbes said, putting his hands behind his back and looking at the ceiling innocently.

Calvin sighed. "Fine. We can get cups and pretend to sip."

A minute later, they were standing against the wall, red cups in hand, witnessing the hormone-fuelled mayhem that was a college frat party.

"Ugh," Hobbes said, after a pretend sip. "I let it touch my lips. Gross. Why anyone would prefer this to a tall glass of Peppy Cola is beyond me."

"I don't think it's about the taste, Hobbes," Calvin said.

A pretty brunette broke out of the crowd, and danced her way up to Calvin. She started to gyrate on him.

"You dog," Hobbes said, with a grin.

The girl raised a brow. "You're cute. How you doin'?"

Calvin leaned in. "Pretty good. You?"

The girl giggled. "How wasted am I?"

Calvin blinked at her for a moment. "Um…I don't know. How wasted? Is-is this a game?"

The girl made a face, rolled her eyes, and danced back into the crowd.

"A tongue of silver, that's you," Hobbes said.

"Oh go eat a shoe," Calvin grumbled. "We need to get out of here."

"What are you thinking?" Hobbes said. "Teleportation, or super sonic speed?"

"Whichever makes for a more dramatic escape," Calvin said.

Hobbes said, "Super sonic speed, it is."

_Calvin's clothes transformed into a black spandex suit and a crimson mask and cape materialized. A white 'S' faded onto his chest._

_"Stupendous man," Calvin said, "Stupendous speed."_

_He took a first step…_

_It was like the world was in slow motion. Every dancer was trapped mid-writhe, and every spilled droplet of beer twinkled in the air like jewels. Calvin moved between them like a bullet, his blond locks of hair rippling gently, his cheeks warping from the aerodynamic drag, his entire body wrapped in blurred duplicates of himself._

_"Will be home safe in point-three seconds," he said, as he approached the doorway. "Point-two seconds. Point-one seconds."_

_Somehow, one person was not moving in slow motion—a petite brown haired girl holding two cups. She stepped between Calvin and the door._

_"Oh sh…" Calvin began._

They crashed to the floor, and her drink went splashing everywhere.

"Hey," the girl cried. "Will you watch where you're going?"

"You were defying physics. That's not my fault," Calvin said, getting off her, and wringing his soaking shirt.

The girl froze to stare at Calvin.

Calvin looked up to stare back.

"You've got to be joking," the girl said. "Calvin?"

Calvin's eyes widened. "Susie Derkins? We're in the same college?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"How awesome is this?" Calvin laughed.

But Susie didn't seem amused. "Are you seriously, freakin' kidding me? No. No. Just no." She stood up.

"What?" Calvin said, rising up too.

"Just _no!_" Susie said, and she walked away in a huff.

"She sure seemed excited to meet you," Hobbes said.

"It was nice to see you again," Calvin yelled, and waved after her.

* * *

**I'm Fine**

Calvin opened the bottle of gummy vitamins, and popped one into his mouth. He put the bottle on his bedside table, and swung his feet into the sheets. He clicked the lamp off.

"Gummy vi'amins, huh?" Jeremy slurred in the next bed, wasted.

"Yeah," Calvin said.

"How do you stop yerrrrself from eating aaall of 'em at once?" Jeremy said.

"The knowledge that vitamin overdose can kill you helps," Calvin said.

"Oh?" Jeremy said. "I din' know that."

"It's called hypervitaminosis," Calvin said. "So…you know, don't stuff your face with chewy vitamins."

"Ohhh…" Jeremy said, and his words transitioned into a snore.

"He's a charmer," Hobbes said, beside Calvin. He turned around and curled up. "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight, Hobbes," Calvin said.

Calvin stared up. He could barely see the ceiling in the darkness. After a few moments, he nudged Hobbes.

"Hey, you asleep?"

No response.

Calvin nudged Hobbes harder. "Don't make me pull on your tail," he whispered.

"Don't make me maul you in this bed," Hobbes growled back, and pulled the blanket tighter around him.

Calvin sighed, and rubbed his eyes. He picked up his phone from the bedside. The screen glowed 3:45 AM at him.

He got out of the bed, and stepped out of the room. As he closed the door behind him, he heard retching down the hall. Though the hall was lighted, the kitchen at the end of hall was not. The person in the kitchen was shrouded in the darkness, bent over the sink. As Calvin drew nearer, the person looked up. It was Susie. Although he almost didn't recognize her: what with the messy hair, red eyes, and dried spittle at the corner of her lips.

Susie in turn noticed Calvin's pyjamas, and put two and two together. "We're in the same building? Oh come on," she groaned, and then dropped her head to throw up again.

"If you want the ideal college experience, you should do that into a toilet bowl," Calvin said.

"Wouldn't have made it to the bathroom. Kitchen was nearer," Susie croaked. "What are you even doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," Calvin said.

"No, I mean what are you doing _here_," Susie said. "In _college_. I remember you being dumber than a sack of bricks."

"Wow," Calvin said, scratching his hair. "And I remember you being a lot nicer. Suppose people change."

Susie threw up some more, slid to the floor, and sighed. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm not having a great evening."

"Lucky for you, it's morning," Calvin said.

When Susie didn't retort, Calvin added, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she replied, and run her hands through her hair again and again.

"You sure?" Calvin said. "You look anything but fine."

Susie took a deep breath. "It's my birthday. Well, last night it was my birthday. My boyfriend didn't even call. My boyfriend, who should've been here in John Thomas with me, but decided to go to Florida State instead, whilst assuring me it had nothing to do with the fact that his ex was admitted there too. Do you know I could be in Harvard right now?" she snapped.

"I didn't."

"Well, I could have. But he changed his plans last minute, and I got stuck here with the rest of sub-par America."

Calvin didn't say anything.

"I don't even know why I'm telling you any of this," Susie said, rubbing her forehead. "Maybe it's the alcohol talking."

"I'm sorry your boyfriend is a jerk," Calvin said. "You turned out kind of pretty." He chuckled. "Even if a bit mean. And I know you're really smart. So, if you ask me, he's the stupid one, not you."

Susie stared at Calvin for a moment. "Okay," she said, "what are you playing at?"

Calvin blinked. "Huh?"

"Kind words? Logical reasoning? Is this some kind of trick? Are you going to pull out a water balloon any second and drench me? Are you going to yank my hair?"

"Water balloon? Yank your hair?" Calvin made a face. "I'm seventeen, Susie, and we're in college."

Susie narrowed her eyes at him.

Calvin raised a brow. "If you want, I can play 'who's gotcha nose' to make all of this more familiar."

"Sorry. You're just…different," Susie said.

"Yes," Calvin said. "I get that a lot now." He stood up, dusted the seat of his pants, and said with a smile. "See you around Susie."

She watched him walk away.

* * *

_Well, that's it for Chapter 1! Did you like it? Hate it? Any questions, opinions, suggestions, criticisms? I'd love to hear from you. So hit me with a review on your way out. I'd appreciate it a lot. Thanks! And until next time..._


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey-o! Back again, with Chapter 2 of "Of Artists and Dreamers". The response has been great so far. Thanks to all those who have read Chapter 1, and even sent me private messages to say how much they liked it (if you also placed all that praise in the review section, I would be super super grateful). Thanks to those who DID leave reviews: __**Irrel**__ and __**TheBigCat**__. I hope you two keep reading. Your encouragement and suggestions are appreciated. _

_Okay, now I'm going on and on. Here's Chapter 2. Please enjoy!_

* * *

**Welcome**

Calvin was slipping from fantasy into reality, just as the economics professor finished his lecture. Somewhere in his mind, the images of an invisible hand crushing buildings on Wall Street still lingered.

"Not bad," Hobbes said. "But Economics doesn't make for very interesting adventures though. Not like Psychology."

"I'm just glad it's over," Calvin said, shoving his books into his backpack. "Finally…."

"Finally," Hobbes said.

"_Finally,_" they both said. "Film club!"

Calvin and Hobbes scrambled over the chairs in their row, all the while apologizing to the other students, till they reached the aisle. They dashed up the stairs to the lecture hall doors, and pushed through into the corridor.

Minutes later, they were the idiots bolting across campus lawns, splashing through the main square fountain, sliding down outdoor railings, and bursting through the doors to the Creative Arts Department building.

They cut into someone's speech when they entered Study Hall CAD3. The person and his room of a dozen attendees glared at Calvin.

"Sorry," Calvin said, glancing at his watch. "Our class didn't end till five minutes ago. Heads up; it means I'm going to be fifteen minutes late for every meeting we have. Guess you'll just have to—"

"Dweeb?" the person who had been speaking said.

Calvin looked up to regard the burly, stubbled boy standing at the front of the room.

"Hey look, it's Moe," Hobbes said, grinning and waving.

"Moe?" Calvin breathed, and swallowed. "Oh, so this is how Susie felt when she saw me."

Moe smirked, and introduced Calvin to his friends: "Film Club, Dweeb. Dweeb, Film Club."

"Hi, it's really nice to meet you," Calvin said, looking around at the new faces; they all belonged to guys. "You can call me Calvin actu—"

"Dweeb is fine," Moe said.

"Or Dweeb," Calvin said. "That's…that's nice too." He paused. "So…Moe, you uh, you're president of this club huh?"

Moe brushed the hair out of his eyes, and snickered. "Sit your butt down."

Calvin and Hobbes found seats at the back, behind an afro-haired guy.

"Hm," Hobbes said, "how d'you suppose Moe made it into college?"

"Bullying scholarship?" Calvin said.

"No talking at the back," Moe snapped.

"Sorry," Calvin and Hobbes said.

Moe frowned. "Who are you even talking to?" He shook his head. "Okay, now that we're done with our Who is Hotter—Megan Wolfe or Ruby Johansson debate, it's time for film reviews. Who's giving us our film review for this week?"

A hand went up.

"Come up, Brother Jordan."

"Brother?" Hobbes twiddled his thumbs. "That gives me cult vibes."

Brother Jordan, who was just as burly as the rest of the guys, joined Moe at the front. He was holding a sheet. He peered down at the paper, and started to read:

"Last. Night. I. Saw. The. Man. Of. Iron. Re. Boot. By. Jack. Ryder. It. Was. Cool. And. The. Ac-tion. Was. Neat. There. Was. Only. One. Thing. I. Did. Not. Like." Jordan looked up at his audience. "Thank you."

Everyone clapped as he took his seat.

Calvin was stunned.

"We should get out of here," Hobbes whispered. "What if the stupid is contagious?"

"Next," Moe said, "we'll have our second debate. Who would win in a fight? The Indestructible Bulk or Solar Man?"

The room exploded with overlapping chatter.

The only other person besides Calvin who wasn't talking was the Afro guy in front of him. So Calvin tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hello," Calvin said.

"Hey man," the guy said, turning around and offering a small smile. "Calvin, am I right?"

"Yeah. Thanks for remembering that."

"The name's Kofi."

"Hi, Kofi. So uh," Calvin said, "is this what every meeting is like here?"

"Pretty much," Kofi said.

"Oh," Calvin said, disappointment tingeing his tone. "But you occasionally study actual film, right? And work on film projects, and stuff?"

Kofi grinned. "Sure. If by project you mean starting an online petition to change the actress cast as Warrior Woman in the upcoming Dark Man vs. Solar Man movie. Our irrefutable argument? Her boobs are too small."

"Oh," Calvin said again, sinking in his seat.

"Excuse me?" Hobbes said, in a huff. "Val Vadot is a vision, a goddess!"

Kofi shook Calvin's hand. "Welcome to Film Club."

* * *

**I Can't Stay**

Calvin could hear the gentle hum of a washing machine even as he climbed down the stairs to the basement floor, his bag of laundry slung over his shoulder. When he arrived at the door to the laundry room, he stopped.

There was a girl with headphones on, dancing alone in front of her washer dryer. But it wasn't the fact that she was dancing so blissfully, so uninhibitedly, that stopped Calvin in his tracks. It was the fact that the girl was dancing around in nothing but a cerulean blue bra and pair of boy shorts. Her platinum blonde hair flew about as she twirled, and jumped, and snaked up and down.

Calvin was frozen. It took him an eternity to clear his throat, and say, "Excuse me."

Of course, the girl couldn't hear him.

Calvin stepped into the room, and inched towards her. He tapped her on the shoulder. "Excuse me."

The girl spun around, startled. She pulled down her headphones. "Oh my god, you scared me!" she laughed. She was winded, and her face was gleaming with sweat.

She was gorgeous.

"I'm so sorry," Calvin said, scratching his hair. "I thought you'd want to know someone was watching. Well, not watching. Well, yes I did watch for a bit, but only because I was so surprised. Not for very long though. I mean, I saw you, and then I thought, you know, you'd probably want to um…I'm rambling. I just…I didn't want you to be embarrassed."

"Embarrassed about what?" she said, tucking a stray strand behind her ear.

"Well…um…You're in your…um…in your…" Calvin began, and stopped.

"Is my load done y—Calvin?" a voice cried behind them.

Calvin spun around just in time to see Susie yank her bathrobe closed.

"Oh that's your name?" the blonde girl said. "My name is Ivy."

"What are you doing here, Calvin?" Susie yelled.

"What are you yelling at me for?" Calvin said. "Why are you walking around half naked in a co-ed dorm?"

"It's three am!" Susie said.

"It's a _co-ed_ dorm!" Calvin snapped.

"We ran out of clean clothes," Ivy said, with an embarrassed smile. "So you two know each other?"

"We lived in the same neighbourhood till I was thirteen," Calvin said.

"Translation: he terrorized me till he was thirteen," Susie said.

"Oh okay," Ivy said. "I thought you guys, like, dated or something."

"God no," Calvin and Susie spat together.

"Where is your bathrobe, Ivy?" Susie said, only just noticing her friend's lack of modesty. "Don't let this creep stare at your body."

As Ivy pulled her bathrobe off one of the washing machines, Calvin made a face and said, "Why would you think I want to stare at her body?" And then, catching himself, he turned to Ivy and quickly added, "I'm sorry. That wasn't meant as a slight to your body."

"It's okay," Ivy said.

"You have a great body," Calvin said. "Awesome even. I'd say awesome."

Ivy grinned. "Awww." She turned to Susie. "He's sweet."

"Don't be fooled. He's a sadist and he's delusional—the worst kind of combination," Susie said, right as the washer dryer whirred to a stop. "Thank goodness. Grab your stuff, Ivy."

Ivy shrugged at Calvin. "Sorry, I can't stay."

Calvin watched as the girls picked their clothes out of the dryer, and threw them into a basket.

"Bye, Calvin," Ivy said, as they passed him, holding the basket between them.

Calvin offered a limp wave back.

Now, he was alone.

He sighed, and dropped his load of clothes on the ground. He was about to open one of the washing machines, when he noticed an olive green notebook on a machine; it was the same machine from which Ivy had pulled her robe.

There was no name on the book, so Calvin flipped through the first few pages. No name on any of them either.

And then, Calvin came to the first page with writing. This page was packed with scribbling.

Calvin leaned against one of the machines, and read the first words aloud:

"In the dormitories of St. Anna's Monastery, something peculiar was transpiring. The hour was unholy—ten or so minutes shy of midnight—but in one room, a pair of eyes popped open…"

* * *

**Would you like some tea?**

_In the dark and thick forest, Calvin and Hobbes faced Cassandra the huntress._

_"__You have five seconds to tell me what you've done with Fiona," Calvin warned. "After that, be assured that I will cut you."_

_"__Oh, I believe you," Cassandra said with exaggerated seriousness, placing a hand over her heart. "And to be honest I wouldn't dream of facing you in a sword fight. You seem rather handy with those things." She was referring to the gleaming blades in Calvin's hands. She smiled, and gestured at Hobbes. "What good fortune then that your good friend has decided to defend me."_

_Calvin turned just in time to see Hobbes take a swipe at him, his paw engulfed in an enormous blue claw of fire and light. The claw splintered the bark behind Calvin; he'd ducked just in time._

_In the two seconds it took for Hobbes to regain his bearings and attack again, Calvin absorbed the elements of his sudden predicament: _

_Hobbes had formed a claw out of pure mana, and attached it to his right paw. The claw was at least half the size of Hobbes's body, with digits thick and razor sharp, and made of a wild, restless mana that glittered and roared with naked energy._

_"__Hobbes, stop," Calvin cried. "She's taken over your mind."_

_Cassandra was laughing like a maniac. "Get him, boy," she shrieked at Hobbes. "Make him bleed!"_

_Hobbes lunged again._

_Calvin twirled out of the way, and the blue claw smashed into the same tree trunk. Calvin took the opportunity to dash past Hobbes, making for Cassandra with incredible speed. _

_Cassandra didn't move. _

_Calvin leapt into the air with a cry, and came down with his swords. _

_Cassandra smirked. _

_The edges of the blades were inches from Cassandra's forehead, when Hobbes' blue claw curled around Calvin's waist, having extended from its source like elastic. The claw snapped back, and Calvin was pitched through the air. He hurtled towards a tree, bound for bone shattering impact. Instead, Calvin reoriented his body mid-air and met the trunk with the flats of his shoes, ricocheting off the coarse surface into a tight, controlled spin. His feet found another tree, and another tree, as he bounced between them back to earth. _

_Right before he could land, Hobbes was upon him again, his blue claw rushing down. Calvin leaned back just in time for the attack to whoosh over his chest and chin._

_A narrow miss. _

_Calvin landed unscathed, with one knee on the ground. "Hobbes, listen to my voice. Don't let her control you. Fight it, Hobbes. Fight it!"_

_Hobbes roared, as he fought back for control of his own body. _

_"__I'm going to kill you for this," Calvin said to Cassandra._

_Cassandra smirked. "Not if I kill you first, boy."_

_Hobbes' eyes glowed blue again, and he threw himself at Calvin._

_Calvin lifted his blades, spun around, and sliced clean through the tree behind him. One loud crack, and half a second later, the tree was tipping over. It came crashing down._

"How are you still up?"

Calvin snapped back to the real world. He lowered the notebook to see Hobbes in bed next to him. The tiger was staring at him.

"I couldn't sleep," Calvin said.

"Again?"

"No, this time it was different," Calvin said. "I was reading. This." He rapped on the back of the notebook he was holding with a finger.

"What is that?" Hobbes asked.

"A notebook. It belongs to this girl I met in the laundry room downstairs called Ivy. She left it under her bathrobe."

"Her bathrobe?" Hobbes said, sitting up. "Her bathrobe was _off_?"

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Don't get excited. It was innocent."

"I'll bet it was."

"Trust me, it was. Susie Derkins was there in a bathrobe too."

"You aren't saving yourself by adding that," Hobbes said.

Calvin made a face. "Susie? Really? Ew."

Hobbes had a dreamy look now. "She always was a cutie—"

"That's besides the point," Calvin snapped.

"Oh, so you admit it?" Hobbes said with a wide grin.

"Eat mud," Calvin said.

In the next bed, Jeremy groaned. "Make the loudness stop, man. Who are you talking to?"

"Sorry," Calvin said, and lowered his voice. "Look, this isn't about the damn bathrobes. It's about the story she's written in here."

"That good, huh?"

"Well," Calvin said, chewing on his bottom lip. "It's got some derivative scenes, and the dialogue gets a little cheesy every now and again…"

"Everyone's a critic," Hobbes muttered.

"But man," Calvin said, shaking his head, "it like, really sucked me in, you know? I had to keep reading. Her imagination is almost as crazy as ours. I never knew that."

"You didn't know she was crazy when she tried to get us to have tea with her stuffed rabbit, Mr. Bun?"

Calvin shrugged. "Yeah, but she was a kid. All kids have a little crazy. I didn't think she grew up with it."

"Like you, you mean," Hobbes said.

"Hey, I'm not crazy. You're just real."

"I know _I _am. Are you?" Hobbes said, with a smile.

Calvin frowned at him. "I hate it when you do that."

"Anyway, why did this girl give it to you to read?" Hobbes said.

"Um," Calvin said. "Well, she didn't technically give it to me to read."

Hobbes' eyes went wide. "You stole it?"

"I didn't steal it. I…borrowed it."

"What if it had personal details?" Hobbes said. "What if had diary entries, or her deepest, darkest secrets? What if it had erotic fan fiction?"

"Then I would have stopped reading," Calvin said. "Burned it, if it had been that last option."

"You should return it," Hobbes said.

Calvin looked wistfully at the notebook. "But I'm not done reading it, and I'm already at the climactic end. I have at least twenty pages left."

"She's almost through with the story? That's rare for an amateur."

"Even more reason why I should finish this," Calvin said, with pleading eyes.

Hobbes looked thoughtful. "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to finish it. You're almost through anyway."

"I'm almost through anyway," Calvin said.

"Then we return the book?" Hobbes said.

"Without a wasted second," Calvin said.

Hobbes sighed. "Fine." He perked up. "And then you'll tell me the story?"

"Of course," Calvin said.

"Ooh, we should do this with breakfast," Hobbes said.

"I think we have Yum-Tarts in the kitchen," Calvin said.

Hobbes licked his lips. "Yes, please. With salmon."

"There's no salmon, Hobbes," Calvin said. "But would you like some tea with that?"

"I would."

Calvin jumped out of bed.

* * *

**Here, have a muffin**

"So, where is this Ivy girl's room?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin was throwing on a shirt. "I think she's Susie's roommate. That's just a few doors down the hall. We'll just leave it by the door and no one will be the wiser."

"Hey C-Man," Jeremy called from the bathroom. "Are you going out to get breakfast?"

"No," Calvin called back, grabbing the green notebook off his bed. "I already ate."

"Can you grab me breakfast anyway?" Jeremy asked.

"I'm not even going downstairs. I'm just—"

"Come on man," Jeremy said.

Calvin sighed. "Sure. What do you want?"

"Coffee and a bagel. I'll settle you for the cash when you get back."

"Sure," Calvin said, and stepped out.

"That'll be the third time he's promised to pay you back for something you bought," Hobbes said. "You need to quit buying stuff for him."

"He'll pay," Calvin said. "His money is just tied up."

"Tied up in what? The tequila shots he does with his boys every night?"

"Can we not do this right now?" Calvin said. "I'm kind of on a natural high, and you're killing my vibe."

"Hey, forgive me for caring about our finances," Hobbes said, turning his nose up.

Calvin smiled, and shook his head. "Well, here's Susie's door." He lifted his hand to knock, and stopped.

Hobbes froze as well.

There was yelling coming from inside the room.

"I gave up everything for you! And you stabbed me in the back!" a voice said. Susie's voice.

"I didn't stab you in the back! I made a life decision!" another voice said. A guy's voice this time.

"I thought I was part of that life!" Susie said.

"Wha—You are!"

"Am I? Because it feels like your ex is a bigger part of it than I am!" Susie snapped.

"Yeesh," Hobbes whispered.

"I think we should come back," Calvin said, turning around.

"Hey Calvin," Ivy said, her face inches from his.

Calvin yelped and jumped back. "Ivy!" he said, hiding the notebook at his back. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Ivy was standing before him, with two cups of coffee. She was in pyjama bottoms this time, but she was still wearing that cerulean blue bra in lieu of an actual blouse. Calvin tried to keep his eyes up.

Ivy laughed. "I guess now we're even."

"Even for what?" Calvin said, and then remembered he'd also startled her last night. "Oh yeah."

"What are you doing here?" Ivy said

"Uh…" Calvin looked at Hobbes, but Hobbes was pretending to study something on the ceiling. "I was looking for you actually."

"Oh really?" Ivy said, with a smile. "What for?"

"Maybe I should come back later," Calvin said.

For at that moment, the guy behind the door was yelling, "Can you just calm down for a second? I came all the way from Florida for you. And you haven't offered me so much as a glass of water!"

"A glass of water?" Susie sounded hysterical. "Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like some coffee too? Maybe some eggs, sunny side up? How about a waffle? Here, have a muffin."

"Hey!" the guy cried.

"And another muffin! And another muffin! Have some freakin' muffins!"

"Stop throwing those! Stop it! You're crazy!"

Ivy seemed oblivious to the ruckus transpiring behind the door to her dorm room. "No," she said. "Go on. What did you want me for?"

"For uh…for uh…" Calvin swallowed, and thought hard. "For Film Club!"

"Film Club?" Ivy said.

"Yes. Film Club. It's a uh, club. For film."

"You're a smooth operator," Hobbes muttered.

"You like stories and movies and such, right?" Calvin asked.

"Sure. Who doesn't?" Ivy said.

"Cool," Calvin said. "We meet Tuesdays at 4 pm. Can you make it?"

Ivy flashed her perfect smile. "Sure. I can pass by."

"Great. So I'll uh, I'll see you soon," Calvin said, stepping around her to leave.

"Tuesday," Ivy said.

"Tuesday," Calvin said.

"4 pm," Ivy said, opening the door to her room, and letting the two loud voices float into the hallway.

"4 pm," Calvin said, walking backwards.

Ivy tucked a blonde strand of hair behind her ear. "It's a date."

"It's a—wait, huh."

Ivy entered her dorm room and shut the door, leaving Calvin speechless.

Hobbes elbowed his ribs. "Well, well. Look who's the tiger now."

* * *

_And that's it! Thanks for completing Chapter 2. Did you like it? Any comments and suggestions? Please, please, leave a review. I love hearing from you guys. You can also send me private messages; I don't mind. Thanks again for reading. Have an awesome day (or night)._


	3. Chapter 3

_Whew! It took forever to finish this chapter. Life kept getting in the way. Here's hoping some day I can write full time and churn out chapters every couple of days. That's the dream!_

_Before we begin, thanks to TheBigCat, The Little Chibi, Calvin Fan, and Calvin Age 6 for reviewing Chapter 2. Some of the questions you've asked, I think it's probably better if you read and find out. :D Thanks again. I really appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far._

_Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Let's go!_

* * *

**Sweet Jehoshaphat's name**

Calvin was standing at the door to Study Hall CAD3. His hand was on the handle, but he'd been standing there for almost ten minutes now, unable to turn it.

"Come on," Hobbes said. "We're already late. They're going to kick us out if we keep this up."

"Gimme a sec, will you?" Calvin said.

They stood there. A few students passed by, and threw Calvin curious looks.

"Someone is going to call campus security soon," Hobbes sighed. "Just go in. So what if it's a date?"

"It's not a date," Calvin snapped.

"Then what are you afraid of?" Hobbes cried, throwing his hands up.

"Shh!" Calvin went.

"I know I was teasing you before," Hobbes said, "but she called it 'passing by'. She would _pass by_. That's not a date."

"But then she called it a date," Calvin said, nibbling on his bottom lip.

"No, what she said was, 'It's a date'. That's just an expression," Hobbes said. "Dude, you're overreacting to an expression TV anchors use."

Calvin looked up into the pearly black eyes of his tiger friend. "You're right. I'm just freaking out."

"You are."

"I'll bet she won't even show up," Calvin said.

"Things happen," Hobbes said, with a noncommittal shrug. "Can we go in now? I don't want to miss another 'Who is Hotter' debate."

Calvin nodded hard, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Deep voices hit him hard. Moe and some of the club members were at the front of the room, shouting out an argument whilst the others yelled their contributions from their seats.

Calvin turned to his immediate left to take one of the seats in the back row. He stopped.

"Hey you," Ivy said, flashing a smile that dazzled Calvin for a moment. She was sitting where he had sat last week, next to Kofi, the Afro-haired boy who seemed to have moved a row back from their last encounter.

"Hey," Calvin finally managed to say.

Ivy patted the seat next to her. Calvin walked into the row, and took it. Hobbes, who was grinning so hard that Calvin wanted to smack him, sat to Calvin's right.

"What's up, man?" Kofi said, offering a fist bump.

Calvin obliged him.

"Did your class run late?" Ivy asked.

"What? Oh um, yeah, it did," Calvin said, running a hand through his blond hair. "Sorry, I should have apologized first for being late."

"It's okay," Ivy said.

"I should probably point out that I'm always going to be late," Calvin said, and then quickly added. "To these meetings I mean. Not to subsequent dates. N-not that I'm saying we'll be going on more dates. Or that this is a date for that matter. I'm just saying that my class always eats a few minutes into club time and so I'll really try to make it on time but oh god, I'm rambling again aren't I?"

Ivy looked infinitely amused. Kofi raised a brow, and tried to hide his smile.

Calvin cleared his throat. "So, what are we arguing about?"

"The hypocrisy of the film rating system in slapping PG-13 on gratuitously violent movies but putting instant R's on nudity and sex," Kofi said.

Calvin and Hobbes looked stunned.

"That…actually sounds smart," Calvin said.

Kofi chuckled. "Man, I'm just messing with you. Three pairs or four pairs of boobies for hot alien characters: the filmmaker's dilemma."

"Neither, obviously," Hobbes said, rolling his eyes. "Their backs would hurt too badly. Two pairs are all alien hotties need. Who are these amateurs? Ugh!"

Calvin's face flushed. "Geez." He turned to Ivy. "I'm sorry about this."

"It's fine. I'm not staying anyway," Ivy said, and gestured at the arguing boys at the front. "Not that this isn't awesome, but Susie is meeting me here."

"Oh?" Calvin said, trying not to sound disappointed.

"Yeah," Ivy said. "I'm taking her out to Yum-Hub for pancakes and bacon."

"Pancakes and bacon?" Calvin said, and blinked. "But it's past 4 pm."

Ivy grinned. "Yeah, she has a thing for breakfast food. Also she needs it right now."

Calvin was just about to ask why, when a voice croaked, "What in sweet Jehoshaphat's name is going on there?"

Everyone in Calvin's row looked right to see Susie standing in the aisle. Susie, to put it kindly, looked like an untidy bed. Her brown hair jutted out at weird, tangled angles, and her eyes had the telltale dark bags of shed tears. She was wearing a dirty, tan jacket over Hello Kitty pyjamas, and her slippers were on the wrong feet.

"How did a bag lady get in here?" Kofi asked.

Ivy looked apologetic. "That's my friend, Susie."

Susie pointed a limp finger at the boys in front. "Did I hear one of them say 'purple areola'?" She sounded incredulous.

"Film club," Calvin said.

Susie looked at him. "Don't just drop those words like they magically explain why they should be talking about purple areolas."

"The adjective he left out was 'bad'," Hobbes said. "Bad film club."

Susie narrowed her eyes. "Is that Moe?" she asked, her voice hitting a new octave.

"That was my reaction more or less," Calvin said.

"Huh," Susie said, pausing to regard him. "He actually looks kind of cute now."

"And this is where we go," Ivy said, standing up. "Anyway when it starts hitting five, all the weirdoes who also like breakfast food get out of work and crowd the Yum-Hub." She looked at Susie. "No offense."

"Hey, you're the one who only eats plants," Susie grumbled. "I'm not the weirdo here."

"Oh," Calvin said, looking up at Ivy. "I just realised I wanted to ask you something. About uh…" Calvin noticed Susie staring. "Your uh…your um…" He lowered his voice. "Your book?"

"What?" Ivy said, leaning down. "Say that again?"

Now, she was too close and Calvin could smell the lavender oil that still glistened ever so subtly on her neck. Also, her v-neck was a little low.

"Never mind," Calvin said quickly. "I'll see you around."

Ivy smiled. "Okay." She sort of flicked the side of his head, and walked out of the room, with Susie following close behind. Susie gave Calvin one last curious look, before closing the door behind her.

"So," Hobbes said, with a grin and a shrug. "It wasn't a date. That's good."

"I guess," Calvin said.

"You guess? Dude, there's no pleasing you," Hobbes said.

"You guess what?" Kofi said, looking at Calvin.

"What? Sorry, I was talking to um…myself."

Kofi raised his brow again, and gave Calvin a half-smile. "You're an odd kinda guy, huh?"

"It's been said once or twice," Calvin said.

Kofi glanced over at Moe and his friends. "Man, that conversation ain't going anywhere."

"Probably not."

"Want to see something cool?" Kofi asked, with a sly grin.

"More often than not," Calvin said.

"Come on." Kofi stood up and walked out of the room.

Calvin threw one last look at the boys in front, and then he and Hobbes got up too.

* * *

**Holy mother of cows**

"Holy mother of cows," Calvin said, his jaw dropping.

He had just stepped into Kofi's room, which might have been more accurately described as a den. Every curtain was drawn, so there was no natural light. But the room wasn't entirely dark; it was lit with the neon blues, greens and soft whites of eleven, maybe twelve screens. Small red and yellow lights blipped in the shadowy edges of the room. A few transparent wires lined the walls, and they glowed.

"Nice," Hobbes muttered, following Calvin in.

"Kamadhenu," Kofi said.

"Kama-what-now?" Calvin said.

"Kamadhenu. The holy mother of cows? That's her name," Kofi said. "She's a Hindu bovine goddess. She's why they don't eat cows, you know?"

"I didn't," Calvin said. "Well, I knew Hindus didn't eat cows, and I knew it was for religious reasons, but now that religious reason has a name." He paused. "I forgot it already though."

Kofi grinned. "It's alright."

"Tigers try not to eat humans too," Hobbes said. "Although that's more out of pity than reverence."

"But this is amazing," Calvin said, touching the surface of one of the screens. The blank white screensaver dissolved away, and the desktop of an operating system showed up.

"Most of them are touch screen," Kofi said.

Calvin leaned in closer. The taskbar at the bottom of the screen was rippling like water. He touched it, and a whole new window scrolled up filled with games and applications. The icons were all three-dimensional, and they bobbed gently in place like they were flying on the screen.

"This is really cool," Calvin gasped. "I've never seen this OS before."

"That's because I made it from scratch," Kofi said, dropping into a swivel chair. "And it can run programs from all the major systems, in addition to my own custom programs of course."

"Oh, ask him if he has Furious Birds," Hobbes said. "Ask him, ask him."

"Um, do you have Furious Birds," Calvin asked, with an embarrassed laugh.

Kofi swivelled around. "Computer, run Furious Bird on Monitor 5."

"Running," a soft computer voice said from hidden speakers, and the screen marked '5', the plain desktop was replaced with a colourful canvas, comical round birds and a pulsating 'Press Start' instruction."

Calvin's mouth wouldn't shut.

Kofi looked thrilled by his reaction.

"D-don't you have roommates?" Calvin asked.

"Nope," Kofi said. "Hacked into the administration records a few weeks before orientation. Moved some names around. Everybody still got a bed. But I'm one of the lucky few who got an empty room. Also, they'll never fill it up because they think I'm rooming with a Francis Oswald Hatcher."

"That's an oddly specific name," Calvin said.

Kofi smiled. "Think about the initials."

Calvin thought about them for a moment. He laughed. "Mean, but funny."

Kofi shrugged. "I have a dark sense of humour."

"I'll say," Hobbes said, after he'd noticed one screen showing a muted video of two zombies enjoying a casual conversation over a plate of brains.

"Are you some kind of genius?" Calvin asked.

"Only if you want to get technical," Kofi said.

"What are you doing here in John Thomas then? You could be at M.I.T. or I dunno, NASA or something."

"I don't think NASA has a college," Kofi said.

"You know what I mean."

"Actually," Kofi said, "my passion is really for film editing and special effects. I sent a project I worked on to a bunch of film schools but I got turned down every time. So I decided to apply to a school with a really great film club instead. But every college was through with admissions, so I picked out the only one still taking admissions with a film club."

"John Thomas University," Calvin said.

Kofi winked. "Bingo. Figured I'll just kill time here till I can reapply next year to some film schools."

"Do you know why the film schools rejected you though?" Calvin asked.

"It might have been the film project I sent them," Kofi said. "I was trying something experimental and I'm guessing it flew over their heads a little bit."

"Oh," Calvin said, and paused. "Can I see it?"

Kofi whirled around in his chair to face his screens. "Computer, search for video file 'Film Project 4' and play on Monitor 6."

"File found," his computer droned. "Playing."

Monitor 6 went dark, and video began to play:

First there was darkness. Then, a light appeared in the distance. The light grew, and grew, till it suddenly rushed in and the screen was engulfed in the random flickering dots of video noise. The noise flickered away, and now there was an eye on the screen, in black and white. The eye blinked twice. Suddenly, the eye was replaced by a woman screaming; a terrifying, bloodcurdling scream. Now, there was a fly on a piece of bread. One fly became two flies, and then three, and then a hundred. The piece of bread turned mouldy before everyone's eyes, and all the flies flew away. Maggots appeared on the bread. The maggots grew into more flies. The video cut to an athlete nursing a bleeding knee, and then to two muscular guys slathered in black mud making out, and then to happy children skipping rope. A team of desperate doctors and nurses, using defibrillator paddles to shock a flat lining old man back to life. An egg. A broken egg. A fried egg. A panting dog. A bawling baby. An old timey couple, from maybe the fifties, walking out of a suburban house. The woman kisses her husband, and the man puts on his hat. He says goodbye. A long-distance shot of an atomic blast, the mushroom cloud curling upwards and outwards.

Darkness.

Calvin and Hobbes were speechless. There was silence for a full sixty seconds.

Kofi whirled back around. "Did I mention I'm not great at telling stories?"

Calvin gave him a weak smile. "You probably should have led with that."

* * *

**Damn right I will**

_Strobe lights flashed, and beams of coloured light cut across the sky over the concert grounds. The cheering was deafening, hands grasping luminous sticks waved in the air, and the crowd was splattered with the neon phosphorescence of glow paint._

_A row of fiery pillars and sparks shot up along the front of the stage, as two figures rose slowly out of the stage, silhouetted by the bright lights behind them._

_The crowd went wilder._

_The figures came to a stop, the pyro effects ceased and all the lights blinked off, plunging the entire grounds into pitch black. The cheering continued, almost quaking the earth._

_A spot light exploded upon the first figure: Calvin, with a Mohawk, triangular shades, leather sleeveless jacket and tight pants, a tattoo of a skull on his right cheek, and a chrome electric guitar slung around his neck._

_The cheering turned to screaming._

_A second spot light: Hobbes, with small round shades, a small hoop in his left ear, a tooth pick in his mouth, gold chains, a shredded jeans jacket and pants, and a blue bass guitar thrown over his shoulder like a bat._

_The screaming turned to hysteria._

_Some unseen shadows took their places behind the drums and the keyboard._

_"New York," Calvin yelled into his mike. "Are you ready to rock?"_

_More screaming. More hysteria._

_Hobbes grinned at Calvin, and he grinned back._

_"Let's get this party started," Calvin cried. "One! Two! Three! Four!"_

_Their music hit the air like a hurricane. It was loud, and angry, and rhythmic, and _beautiful.

Man o man, you're such a pill

Prowling like a tiger, and a craving to kill

Think you intimidate me with those monster eyes still?

Teach you a thing or two, damn right I will

_"Damn right I will, damn right I will," Calvin crooned._

_"Damn right I will, damn right I will," Hobbes roared._

_"Damn right I will," they yowled._

_And Calvin began his electric guitar solo… But then a hand touched him on the shoulder._

Calvin jumped, and whirled around.

Ivy herself jumped at his sudden reaction, and then she laughed—that laugh like silver bells. She was in a tank top and short pants. Also, she was barefoot. There was a plastic container of something in her hand.

"Sorry," Calvin breathed. "I didn't see you come in."

She said, "I guess this makes us even, huh?"

Calvin converted the tension in his chest into a soft laugh. "I guess it does."

"What are you doing? Playing a game?" Ivy asked, looking at the plastic guitar controller in his hands. Her eyes drifted to the flat screen behind him, with the flashing simulation of a rock star on stage.

"Yeah, we're having a duel. Kofi lent us some of his video games," Calvin said.

Ivy looked around the dorm room. "'We'?"

Calvin looked at Hobbes by his side, thumbing the buttons of his own guitar controller.

"I mean me and my roommate, Jeremy," Calvin said.

"Hey," Hobbes muttered.

"What are you doing here?" Calvin said. ""Not that you aren't welcome here any time you want."

"_Any _time," Hobbes said, looking up and grinning.

"But you know what I mean," Calvin said.

"I wanted to bring you these," Ivy said, lifting up her plastic bowl. She took the lip off.

"Muffins?" Calvin said. "These wouldn't happen to be of the same stock Susie used as ammo, are they?"

"The legendary same. I made them actually."

"Here on campus?" Calvin asked.

"Yup."

"How did you get access to an oven?"

"Oh," Ivy said, with a shrug. "I used the microwave."

Calvin stared at the perfectly square lumps of pale brown. "They look…interesting."

Ivy looked amused. "Just try one."

Calvin picked a square muffin and took a cautious bite. His eyes widened. He took a larger bite, and then stuffed the rest of the muffin into his face.

"Hey, save a bite for me," Hobbes said.

"It's amazing," Calvin managed to say, after he'd swallowed enough of his mouthful to speak.

Ivy grinned. "Thank you. It was tricky getting them just right with a microwave, but I just had to play around with the settings and the recipe a little."

"Wait, these aren't from a mix?" Calvin asked.

Ivy looked insulted.

"Sorry," Calvin said. "Can I have another?"

"They're all yours," Ivy said, handing him the container. "We had an excess back at my place. I made them to cheer Susie up." She paused, considering whether or not to add her next words. "She broke up with her boyfriend."

"I gathered."

"I was also trying to make it up to her," Ivy said, "for losing her notebook."

Calvin stopped mid-bite. "Her what?" were his muffled words.

"She had this special notebook she did all her writing in," Ivy said. "I was reading a story she wrote, till I misplaced it. I've tried retracing all my steps, but I can't pinpoint where I left it. I've been feeling horrible about it. It really was an awesome story."

Calvin swallowed. "You don't say."

"I do." Ivy sighed. "Well, you can bring that back to me when it's empty."

"Huh?" Calvin realized she was talking about the plastic container she'd handed him. "Oh yeah. Sure. Thanks."

"You're welcome," Ivy said. "See ya around." She twirled around, and walked out of the dorm room.

Calvin and Hobbes shared a look.

"Looks like have a mission on our hands," Calvin said. "We have to return that book without Susie ever finding out we had it."

"Yeah, yeah," Hobbes said, turning back to the screen. "Can we get back to our game? I'm not done thrashing you."

"You weren't thrashing me," Calvin said, with a frown.

"Uh…yes, I was," Hobbes said, with a scowl.

They bumped foreheads, and glared.

_Suddenly, the roar of the crowd came rushing back, and they were on stage again._

* * *

**What the devil-monkey**

_Nine symbols in a perfect square; they flashed intermittently in the rocky surface, till a fuzzy finger pushed against them in a seemingly random sequence. The symbols ceased flashing, and they all turned green. _

_The owner of the finger was a tall anthropomorphic tiger in silver pants, black boots and a pair of electronic goggles. He pushed his goggles up, and grinned at his slightly shorter companion, a blond young man in a blue one-piece suit, with a black eye-mask, yellow gloves and boots, and a blaster hanging from his utility belt._

_The two explorers were standing at the foot of a mountain, beneath a bloody sky and an orange sun. A red-sand desert stretched with seeming infinitude around them, and howling winds carried sky-high curtains of dust across the landscape. In the distance, a herd of giant sand mammoths thundered along the horizon._

_The tiger pushed against the side of the mountain with both hands, and a door in the stone wall grated wide open. He gestured at the entrance he had discovered, and said, "Ta-da."_

_"Good job, Fauzzie," his campanion said._

_"That's Captain Fauzzie, to you, Spiff," Fauzzie said._

_"Captain?" Spiff looked incredulous. "If anybody is the captain here, it's me. I've been doing this way longer than you."_

_"As far as you know," Fauzzie said._

_"In fact," Spiff snapped. "You call me Captain now."_

_"I am not calling you that," Fauzzie sniffed. "You're just a 'Spaceman'."_

_"It's an accolade!" Spiff said, throwing his hands up. "I've been to so many galaxies that I'm known by that name on three hundred and twenty-five inhabited planets, okay? You on the other hand are not even wearing a shirt!"_

_Fauzzie stuck out his tongue. "That's 'cause I have sexy pecs and the ladies love them."_

_"Can we just go in please?" Spiff said. "Can we do that, before I suffer a brain aneurism?" _

_"Sure. Ladies first."_

_"Unbelievable," Spiff muttered, stepping into the darkness._

_Fauzzie chuckled to himself and followed him in._

_The stone path sloped down into a surprisingly dank cave. The sound of dripping…something…echoed in the black emptiness around them._

_"This is slippery," Fauzzie muttered._

_Spiff released a capsule from his utility belt, and popped it between his fingers. There was a puff of dust, and a flashlight appeared in Spiff's hand. "Always prepared," Spiff said, turning it on. "That's the kind of quality you expect in a captain, don't you think?"_

_"Let it go, Spiff."_

_"Just saying," Spiff said._

_The beam of light cut across the expanse above them, glistening off wet, rocky protrusions from the high ceiling. The light swept down._

_"Woah," Fauzzie said, as the flashlight revealed the true precarious nature of their path._

_They were walking down a narrow ledge, a wall to their left, a gaping drop to their right. The ledge travelled against the damp wall, spiralling down continuously into what looked, from here, like a bottomless pit. _

_"I'm so glad you talked me into this," Spiff said._

_"Don't give me that," Fauzzie said. "You're the one who wanted to return Artefact 22 to Planet Zu-zi. I'm only here for the scenery, and of course, the potential endless 'lulz' at your failure."_

_"You can stay in the space ship next time," Spiff said._

_"I'll take you up on that offer."_

_Spiff shook his head, released another capsule and popped it. "We're not walking all the way down," he said, pointing his newly acquired grappling gun up at the ceiling. He squeezed the trigger._

_The cave echoed with a metallic burst, as the grapple rocketed up. It hit the ceiling, and then with a loud whirring sound, it bored into the rock and sunk its claws in. _

_Spiff spread his other arm out. "Do you want to join me, or will your big head help you float down?"_

_"Ha ha," Fauzzie said, wrapping his arms around Spiff and holding on._

_They leapt off the side of the path, and sunk down into the black. After a full sixty seconds of rapid falling, the light from Spiff's flashlight finally hit the bottom. Spiff slowed their descent. _

_When their feet touched the ground, Spiff left the grappling gun dangling. "We'll use it to go back up," he said, as he untangled his arms from Fauzzie's. He threw the beam of his flashlight around._

_"Oh that's comforting," Fauzzie said, upon seeing the dry skulls that littered the area around them._

_"Hey, there's a tunnel here," Spiff said. "Come on."_

_They walked into a tunnel, and followed it for a few minutes. The tunnel finally ended at the mouth of a vast cavernous chamber. A piece of rock floated several feet in the heart of the room, its golden podium glinting subtly under the soft alien glow of the luminous moss lining the ceiling._

_Spiff touched his utility belt. It clicked under his touched and released a capsule. _Poof, _the capsule went, and now he was holding a cerulean blue tome encrusted with gems. _

_"How are we going to get it up there?" Fauzzie asked._

_"Damn," Spiff muttered. "I left my jetpack in the ship."_

_"So much for always prepared huh?"_

_"Don't start now."_

_"Hey," Fauzzie said, "are rocks supposed to move?"_

_"What?"_

_Fauzzie pointed up. Higher than the floating rock, something was stirring in the ceiling. Well…a dozen things. All together, their eyes flashed open, sulphurous yellow. One of them screeched._

_They descended, their leathery wings beating against the air, their cries piercing the silence._

_"Mutant bats!" Spiff screamed._

_He and Fauzzie dove out of the way of a swooping bat. It was a hulking mass, and the claws of its feet cracked the stone earth._

_Spiff rolled back up to his knees, and whipped out his blaster. He set it to 'nice and crispy'._

_Fauzzie pulled two metal hilts out of his pockets, and switched them on. The hilts produced blades of throbbing, orange light._

_"One with the most kills gets to be called captain," Spiff said._

_Fauzzie flipped out the way of another swooping bat, slicing through its torso in the process. "Yeah?" he said, as the creature screamed and thrashed in separate pieces behind him. "You're already losing."_

_Spiff started to shoot, and Fauzzie started to cut. Their movements were swift, and their judgments, absolute. Blue mutant blood sprayed in the air, and painted the walls. It was when Spiff was at five bats and Fauzzie was at six that the lights came on._

"What the devil-monkey is going on here?" Susie screamed.

She was standing in her bedroom doorway in pyjamas, staring at Calvin running around her living room furniture from an angry little bat.

"Open a window, open a window!" Calvin cried.

Susie ran to her window and opened it. The bat let out one last indignant screech and fluttered out of the room and into the night.

Calvin collapsed into the couch, panting for air. "Oh my god, thank you."

Susie looked like she was going to lose her mind. "What are you freakin' doing in my dorm, Calvin?"

"The real question is: how come you guys have a living room and a kitchen," Calvin said. "That's not fair."

"Calvin…"

"And why is there a bat in your dorm? You guys really need to check your hygiene. Bats are just rats with wings, you know. They eat dirt and stuff. Probably. Or fruits, or something. You wouldn't happen to have any oranges in here, would you? That would do the trick—"

"_Calvin…_"

"Gosh this sofa sure is comfy," Calvin said, bouncing on the couch a few times. "Where did you get this? Did you pick it off a sidewalk? Gosh, I hope not. I'm pretty sure you can get leprosy that way. Contagious diseases, am I right?" He laughed.

"Calvin, I'm going to stab you in the face if you don't answer my question!" Susie roared.

"Fine, fine!" Calvin yelled back. "I saw Ivy step out for a bit, and she forgot to lock the door."

"So that's _how _you got in here," Susie said. "Now _why_? _Why_ are you here, Calvin? Don't make me call campus security."

Calvin sighed, and reached back. He pulled out a blue notebook from between his pants and his waistline, and dropped it on the coffee table.

Susie stared at the book. "Is that…"

"It is," Calvin said.

Susie narrowed her eyes. "And you have my notebook…why exactly?"

"I didn't steal it, if that's what you think."

"Pray, do explain," Susie said.

"I thought it belonged to Ivy," Calvin said.

"That doesn't sound any better."

"She left it in the laundry room," Calvin said. "I would've returned it earlier, but I started to read it, and it was _really _good, and I couldn't stop, and then I realized I had kept it for too long, and I was embarrassed to bring it back because I didn't want Ivy to think I was a weirdo—"

"You are a weirdo," Susie interrupted.

"But honestly," Calvin said, catching his breath. "If I'd known it was yours, I would've just brought it back immediately, considering I don't give a hoot about your opinion of me and all that."

"Ah, that's the Calvin I remember," Susie said, with a wry smile.

"He's always in there somewhere," Calvin said.

"Of course he is," Susie said.

They didn't say anything for a few moments, the silence marinating in discomfort.

"It really is a fantastic story," Calvin finally said, softly.

Susie hesitated, and then said, "You think so?"

"I do," Calvin said.

Susie looked down. "Thanks," she murmured.

"I should go," Calvin said, standing up.

"You should," Susie said quickly.

At the door, Calvin turned back one more time. "Hey," he said. "You should come to Film Club this week. I know the guys only care about hot actresses or whatever, but maybe you and I can talk about your story instead."

Susie didn't look thrilled by the suggestion. "I don't know."

"Just think about it," Calvin said.

"Maybe. We'll see."

Calvin smiled. He closed the door behind him.

* * *

_Aaaaaand that's a wrap for today! Did you like it? Hate it? Have suggestions? I love to hear from you guys. So please fill in the review box and send me your thoughts. Alternatively, you can send me private messages. Thanks, and until next time!_


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